Clothed with strength and dignity

I have been having an uncomfortable issue for the past few months.

 

Weeks where I would question myself for the sake of others. 

Weeks where I would berate myself to take the blame off of others.  

Weeks where I was so insecure about myself that I felt worthless. 

Weeks where I felt like I had NO ONE to turn to. 

Yep... this is how I felt about myself... this is real and this is true and this is me.

In the meantime I began reading the book 

So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore

 It has been recommended a lot on the blogs and I wanted to see what it was all about too!

A lot of my insecurity (current and past)

has crept up in the last few weeks of reading this book... 

I can usually read a book in few evenings at most but this books was a lot more to digest.

Two situations have been addressed as of now ~ although the effects of what I said and confronted are to be felt for a while,

I will stand my ground ~with the grace of God, know that I am a child of Him, clothed with strength and dignity. 

Nicholas Sparks Re~Wind

One of my New Year Goals was to read ALL 16  of Nicholas Sparks books

I am proud to say that I  finished reading them March 3, 2010!

I FINALLY feel like a real grown up... I made a goal and completed it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I enjoyed all the books for many different reasons

I recommend reading Nicholas Sparks because he is adorable a great author and gets better looking with age out does himself with each book! 

Also he went to Notre Dame and I am a die hard fan of the Irish!

And he is easy on the eyes an easy read...  

I do not want to spoil any of the books on you... I hate when ppl do that!

Here is a little snippet of my personal thought on each book!
~@~@~@~@~@~@~

A funny aside before I begin... 

My hubby cannot get over the fact that I read fast and it is beyond him that I comprehend anything I read... so after each book, I gave him a book report, I told him so much that he felt like he read the books himself. When we went to see Dear John in the movies he commented that it was not the same as the book! LOL

~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Without further ado...

The Last Song tugged at emotions I did not even know I had.... the movie is coming out soon and I am excited to see it!

Here is the Trailer for the movie

I hope it lives up to the book!! The book for me was beautifully written. The characters came alive and I could feel what Nicholas was expressing  for each individual character!

 The Lucky One is a beautiful love story that shows the miles that love will travel and how sometimes it really is against our own will to fall in love!

I can honestly say that he book Dear John is better than the movie... and I thought the movie was great!

It is The Choices we make and the chances we take that make all the difference in our lives and sometimes love lives right next door!

 At First Sight was a heartbreaking sequel to True Believer which was an amazing story about the lengths we go to protect those we love.

I would love to spend Three Weeks With My Brother in real life. 

Nicholas got to do that with his brother Micah. They went on an amazing journey around the world and  this true story is about love and heartbreak and how family really is all you have when it comes down to it!

The Guardian was an interesting suspense ~ with a little love mixed in!

The Wedding is not the Notebook followup I expected ~ it was so much more than I ever even thought it would be... this is a not to be missed follow up especially if you question the love in your life!

Nights In Rodanthe  tells the tale that intense love can come at any age... the ending still gives me chills!

A Bend In The Road is a reminder that our lives are like a tangled web!

The Rescue taught me that there are many ways to be rescued!

A Walk To Remember is a memorable and beautiful young love story!

Message In A Bottle was a heart wrenching unexpected ending book that left me wanting to go back and make things all better!

The Notebook is a classic must read ~ I pray that when I am at the twilight of my life I have my husband beside me!

Wokini encouraged me to be happy ~ co~authored with Billy Mills this book was inspiring and really made me reflect on my own life!

So that is it... all 16 books!

I am so looking forward to his next book!

Oh and if you have a chance, check out his WEBSITE... it is very in depth!

Let me know your thoughts on any of these books!

Linking up with Leah @

I won...

this book

from Kendall @ Finesse Your Nest

I so need this!!!

THANK YOU KENDALL!!!

Even though we JUST moved in here in November... I am overwhelmed with STUFF!!

If anyone wants to come along... I am going to read this book and I will be making comments here and showing progress too!!

I hope that it can help some of us to Un~Clutter

No Coincidence!

I signed up to do a Spring Fling with Lori @ Life as Lori
Thank you Lori!!!

 CLICK HERE FOR THE LINKS to the other parties

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I was so excited to be paired up with Megan from A Little Knick Knack

I just knew that Meg was going to be a wonderful pair when I saw her header on her blog WAS (as in used to be... but her new one is awesome!)... the same as mine!!

There are no coincidences in life!

I excitedly picked out some spring goodies and things I love  for Megan and sent them on their way last week. 

Today it is in the 50's and I went outside to check on the yard ... when I looked at the side porch there was a HUGE box on the stoop... 

I did not order anything I thought so I took it in the house and when I looked at the return address I was surprised to see that it was from Meg!

I then took the package into the living room and after a few "what is that... who is that from" questions from my hubby 

I took out a  bubble wrapped frame?...a toile wrapped square and  a card. 

I held the package on my lap and opened the monogram G card... a beautiful  note from Megan!

Next I opened the tolie wrapped square and ... the tears began to flow  it was the

"I'll Love You Forever" book!!!

Crying... I showed the hubby who put his head down and sniffed!

The large part of the gift was bubbled so I could not see what it was (I suspected a frame) ... trying to see through my tears I began to take off the bubble wrap... and to my surprise was indeed  a frame... 

of  

the words ... "I'll love you forever"...

Well let me tell ya... the two of us are now blubbering ... sobbing!!!

What a beautiful soul Megan is!!

I'll tell you I am still crying!!! 

The frame is shabby and it has a yellow background and a pale blueish gray vinyl lettering... there is a tie that is a yellow ribbon with a black and white check!

it is so ....BEAUTIFUL!!!

 I had no idea when I signed up for this Spring Fling that I would be so blessed with an heirloom for our baby. 

I am beside myself and know that Thank you is just not enough. 

I am so blessed!

I can see myself rocking our baby, reading the book and looking up at the frame... knowing that dreams do come true and strangers become friends and that there are no coincidences!

THANK YOU MEGAN...XOXOX

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I did not plan to share this on our blog yet   but after what happened today... now I will. 

I had been adamantly against the foster to adopt program since we began our adoption journey. 

For the last few weeks though as I would pray... I had the thought of doing this program. 

If it is God's will.... we will pursue it  ...so I gave it to God!

In the last few days I could not stop thinking about fostering an infant ... who's goal is  adoption. 

Getting this frame from Megan is a sign from God, I believe, that we should look into this further. 

When I say there are no coincidences... I mean it!

I will let you all know!


EDIT: here is the link to Megan's post about the gift!

Weigh Down (long)

In my quest to lose 50 pounds this year I am  looking for a way to help me get to the root of my eating issues.

As I wrote in the past, I do not necessarily eat bad foods... I OVER~EAT (all) foods!

A few weeks ago I was having some eating issues... I was so wanting to over eat and just give in. 

 I decided to pray.

 (even my I love you box was not going to help)

The next day I was having thoughts all day about my naturally thin friends... I was tempted to ask them to write down what they eat for a week so I could see what I was doing wrong.

I envy their ability to eat what they want and then stop... STOP!

In their homes they have real foods too... full calories and full fat goodies ~ snacks and meats and cheeses!

I am telling you... if I had this in my house... well lets just say I wouldn't because it would be gone!

As some of you know another one of my goals is to read all of Nicholas Sparks books this year.

I knew I had The Notebook and The Wedding in our basement.

I looked and looked like a mad woman and then FINALLY gave in when after searching to no avail,  I visited the library.

I always check the sale table before I go in to the library to see if there are any must have books

I did not see any so I headed in, checked out my two books.

 As I was walking out the door... I felt a pull

Really, a pull!

I looked to my right and there on the table was the book...
The Weigh Down by Gwen Shamblin

I watched a show on WE a few weeks back about the Weigh Down however I knew that I could not afford to buy yet another program... and FAIL ~ so I disregarded it.

So I took my dollar back into the library and was on my way!

I read the book that evening.
The next day was Friday.
 I began a "diet" on Friday...

The thing is, this is NOT a diet!!

The permise of the Weigh Down is EASY...
Too good to be true... EASY??

Here is the basic jist

Eat what you want... when you are physically hungry
STOP eating when you are comfortably full



I am serious ~
When you feel  your stomach growl... you are allowed to eat.
You pick and choose what you want on your plate the most.
Eat the items that you like the BEST ...
Rate your foods

So for example...
A meal of grilled chicken, salad, baked potato and green beans
I personally would eat all of the salad, 3/4 of the chicken, 1/4 the green beans and the whole baked potato
That is what I would enjoy!




You eat some of your meal and then halfway through the meal ask yourself on a scale of 1-5 how full you are
If you are a 1-3 ... continue eating another 1/4 the meal
If you are a 4-5 stop

I know this makes sense to mostly all of you but to me this is a new concept.

Another concept that I appreciate is that there will be another meal in a few hours...
When your stomach growls again
This too may be obvious however for me this again is a foreign concept
I would eat till I was overfull ~ thinking that I would not eat again.
I would also eat whenever I wanted to



The reason I over~ eat is emotional
I get sad and I eat... I am happy and I eat... Something triggers my thought and I eat.
Well with this plan... I have to wait until I am actually physically hungry... which makes me like a "yo-yo" as the hubby kindly told me a few times this past week.
I explained to him what I was doing and he is assured that it is not him... it is tough but I WANT this weight off more than anything and this is the year that I will get 1/4 of the weight off... for good!

So... it really is EASY and logical


There is an emphasis too on God...
This book is very much about your relationship with God

He and I have a good relationship
However I NEVER thought that my overeating issues had anything to do with my relationship with Him until reading this book...

I will not go into all of the details about my personal relationship with God  however I will say that since beginning this plan almost 2 weeks ago...

I physically feel ALMOST  fabulous!
Emotionally I am getting better each day although I know it is a LONG haul
Spiritually I am on a journey...


I read the book and since found the website as well

There is a section on the website  (weighdownathome) which is basically the book in audio form
It is free
I made no plans to BUY anything more... I guess there is a program etc...

I am inspired beacuse many people have lost 100+ pounds and kept it off
One was on the Today Show... Joy Fit Club

I am a little disheartened because I did read some negative publicty that the program is a religious cult.
I did not personally feel this way


Let me know your thoughts and if you read it or had success with it

I will let you all know by the middle of next month how I am progressing

Many Blessings
Patricia

Nicholas Sparks & Ice Cider

The day before New Years Eve we made a trip to see my family in NY

We had such a good time

We stopped on the way up at this really cool apple orchard

I enjoyed some ice cider and the hubby enjoyed some hot cider

We bought some bread and pastries too...

When we arrived in NY we went to my cousins home and had lunch

While we were talking and chatting and talking and chatting we began talking about books

I began making a list of books that they suggest I read

My cousin gave me 2 Nicholas Sparks books to take home and read

The Lucky One and Dear John

I love to read and had read a few of Sparks books before and enjoyed them.

The books I find are an easy read and Nick (yep) takes me right along and I get lost...

There is nothing vulgar and everything is always bittersweet in the end

Driving home that evening I decided that I would read ALL of Nicks books in 2010

I love to set goals and achieve them

I enjoy crossing things off and I relish the challenge

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have the Notebook... and the Wedding and never yet read either

I started with Dear John ~ It was a great read!

Lots of things going on and everything tied together at the end.

I prefer to read rather than watch the movie... although I will probably go to see Dear John when it comes out in February...

I read Nights in Rodanthe and then watched the movie... I did not like the movie

I think sometimes the imagination is better than any movie could be!

I just finished reading The Last Song last weekend...  I loved this book!

I cried tears that were buried far beneath the surface

It was a beautiful book!

Well written and the theme really hit home for me in ways I never imagined!

The movie is coming soon... I hope it lives up to my expectations!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My dad taught me to read... he read to me every night

My dad taught me to pray... he prayed with me every night

The Last Song reminded me of my Dad!

So I let my dad borrow the book from me that I borrowed from the library.

My dad is a fast reader too... I hope he enjoys the book as much as I did!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So there is my goal... So far so good

I have read over  1/2 of my goal so far and it is only January still...

I will probably take a break soon... maybe!

Reading is helping me to keep my mind off my other goal of losing 50 pounds this year

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So back to our trip... after staying a while and visiting we headed back not before stopping for some ice cider and some hot cider and some sharp cheese... cuz ny sharp is the BEST!

No take backs God...

I feel like I am on overdrive! ~Oil needed to be changed 3000 miles ago and I needed gas 50 miles ago~ I am going to come to a complete STOP soon and it is not going to be pretty~ I have the tools I need ... I am having a hard time finding them! I find myself being moody and upset and irrational.... even though in reality, there is NOTHING majorly wrong! My gram died and we still did not bury her ~ so there is no closure yet~ There will be soon, but just not yet~ I am jobless on August 1 ~ a business I created ~ it was my baby and now, it is over I have been applying like crazy I have faith that what will happen will be exactly as it is supposed to happen I can't stop dwelling on what ifs... I am praying and asking God to please take over... when in the same breath I am trying to take it back from him I can't relax... If I don't get a job soon, all will be just fine ~ my main concern is how others will look at me Everyone around me works so hard... and then there is me... "you should have gotten your teaching certificate" is what so many of my family tells me I went to school to be a teacher, and then decided that it was not for me So here I am with a 4 year degree in General Studies Things around here are not done the way they are everywhere else You need to go, in person and apply ~ a well written resume does not matter A degree doesn't matter 2 international awards don't matter Civic organization affiliations don't matter What does matter is ... who you know that can get you the job and who could "put the word in for you"! I want a job on my own merit ~ I want my future employer to look at my credentials, interview and hire me because I am the best person for the job and not because I know someone! I am blessed though ~ my husband is not worried, he has faith that I will get a job and in the meantime thinks it is cool I will be home I picked up this book

at the library for a buck the other day ~ been reading it~ It is almost as if it was written for me Job loss ~ infertility ~ feelings of inadequacy ~ worrying about what other people think ~ unanswered prayers Oh and a great deal of faith! I am not one to really talk about faith and a lot that is in this book is a huge dose of what I need to read and need to do! I was actually feeling better BEFORE I read this book...imagine that!!! It is stirring up in me so many feelings and emotions right now ~ things that I have hidden deep and things I never wanted to admit! I swear God put this book on the clearance table for me the other day~ he does know I would never pay full price LOL! I know I will get through all of this okay and really it will not matter one bit in 10 years~ I need to remember that and trust God I need to let go ~ My favorite poem is this: Broken Dreams As children bring their broken toys With tears for us to mend, I brought my broken dreams to God Because He was my friend. But then instead of leaving Him In peace to work alone, I hung around and tried to help With ways that were my own. At last I snatched them back and cried, "How could you be so slow" "My child," He said, "What could I do? You never did let go." Robert J. Burdette I am going now to give God my toys ... no take backs~ EDIT: I finished the book in in tears as a complete basket case! I feel refreshed and I feel new~ I moved my book mark to the front of the book... now, I will read it and comprehend it! It has been a tough few weeks~ I will be okay, with the Grace of God!

50 cents

I enjoy reading so much

I especially enjoy romance and relationship books

I often learn from the examples of how not to have a good relationship in these books

What the characters do.. I do the opposite LOL

I bought 2 books at the thrift shop for 50 cents each

Jimmy's Girl

&

Sea Glass

So far... I am liking both books very much ...yep, I read two books at once...

oh and am I the only person in this world that also reads the last page first?